Friday, October 23, 2015

621. Last Chants for a Slow Dance

Last Chants for a Slow Dance
Directed by Jon Jost

Prepare for a rant, everyone.  This movie was almost impossible to find.  It didn't seem to exist on any reputable site.  I searched for this film on so many dodgy sites that the UK List of Court Orders (ACCESS TO THE WEBSITES LISTED ON THIS PAGE HAS BEEN BLOCKED PURSUANT TO ORDERS OF THE HIGH COURT!) became a frequently visited page on my browser.  I was finally able to find a download, but the file format wouldn't work on my computer.  Using my savvy computer skills, I was able to convert the file.  Am I a hero?  I am not sure I am completely comfortable with that label, but obviously, I can't stop anyone from saying it.

Of course, none of this was worth it, since this film was an absolute trainwreck.  Basically, we are treated to an hour and a half of the character Tom being a terrible person.  He cheats on his wife, says crude, misogynistic things to strangers, and, in a particularly charming scene, blames his wife for getting pregnant.  The "action" is broken up by painfully long scenery shots that were obviously just there to prolong this movie's miserable life.

We are forced to watch a lot of movies that focus on one character (usually a man) being terrible.  Then we always have to ask ourselves the following questions. Is the disgust we feel for this person intended by the filmmakers?  Are we adding dimensions to a character that we would usually write off as a villain?  Is it important to see this?  Would jumping off this ledge be worth it so I can stop watching this movie?  Sorry, that last one might just be me.

Frankly, I am sick of having rapists be the heroes of our stories.  I am pretty sure this guy might be a rapist as there is a very questionable piece of dialogue when someone asks if the girls Tom chases are willing and Tom replies, "As willing as they can be."  What does that mean??  Maybe I don't want to know.

Let's not let a pretentious critic stop this film from fading into obscurity!  Avoid at all costs.

RATING: *----

Interesting Facts:

Shot on a $2000 budget.  This seems to impress a lot of people, but I probably could have guessed that.


  1. I can't believe people are saying that this film needs a restoration. From your post it sounds like it belongs exactly where it is, stuck on some poor quality VHS that no one will ever see.

    1. Agreed! Those people populate Pretentiousville.