Thursday, December 12, 2019

890. Toy Story Series *REVISED AND UPDATED* (1080, 1081)

Toy Story
1995
Directed by John Lasseter








Three years ago I wrote a review on Toy Story. Well, now the Listmakers have decided that the movies are such a cohesive unit, that they should count as one entry, LOTR-stylez. So I decided just to update this post, with my thoughts on the sequels, or as the Listmakers would call them, Acts 2 and 3.

So that it's not TOO confusing, past Amanda is in bold, present Amanda is roman, and future Amanda is in purple, is a clone, and must be destroyed.

Toy Story:

If Joss Whedon is involved in a project, it is pretty much guaranteed that I am going to praise it.  While this was never a favorite growing up (I like my animated movies to have musical numbers), it is certainly a movie everyone should see before they die.

In the Toy Story universe, toys are sentient beings who only pretend to be lifeless in the company of humans.  This logic has some alarming implications, but since it is a children's movie, we can just go with it.  Six year old Andy's favorite toy is Woody, a pull string cowboy.  On his birthday, Andy receives Buzz Lightyear, a flashy action figure who isn't even aware that he is a toy (but then, why does he freeze whenever a human comes into the room?).  Buzz becomes Andy's favorite, sparking Woody's jealousy.

I haven't seen any of the Toy Story sequels, but I hear they are quite good.  My boyfriend told me that Toy Story 3 made him cry, which is the kind of manly anecdote that is really attractive (okay, that's embarrassing).  In any case, I enjoyed this; the voice acting really brought the characters to life.  I never thought I would be praising Tim Allen, but there you go.

I am sure I am not the first person to think this, but I saw this film as kind of a metaphor for Hollywood.   Westerns are now considered outdated and today people just want mindless action movies.  Another movie that shouldn't be dismissed as a kids only film.

RATING: ****-

Toy Story 2:

My sister and I got Disney Plus which has not been good for our mental health or relationships, but that's not important. What is important is that Woody is stolen from a garage sale, and it's up to Buzz and the rest of the Plastics to rescue him from Wayne Knight. Woody, however, ends up bonding with the other toys in Knight's collection, so is forced to make a difficult choice about his future.

I have a hard time sinking my teeth into the Toy Story universe, just because it is hard to grasp the stakes. Can toys die? They can clearly be dissected and put together in horrific ways and still be "alive," for all intents and purposes. So then, do they die only when their body parts are destroyed beyond repair? I know it's slightly ridiculous to dissect this movie to toy-death, but there are plenty of great movies for kids that don't fall apart upon deeper examination (e.g. Inside Out). I am not saying I won't accept non sentient things being sentient, but understanding the stakes is a crucial part of storytelling, and the Toy Story movies fail in this regard.

That being said, Pixar always makes beautiful movies and the voice actors are perfect in their roles. I love that Pixar respects children, respects their fears, their minds, and their struggles. I think many adults romanticize childhood, those "good ole days" when you didn't have to pay bills. But being a child is actually difficult and weird, and Pixar gets that.

RATING: ***--

Toy Story 3:

The big kahuna, that brings healthy, mature men, and the men I date, to tears. In this installment, Woody and the other toys accidentally get donated to a daycare center. My sister teaches kindergarten and watched this movie with me, so I was clued in that things were going to go south pretty quickly. I know her Calm Down Koala has seen some things.

This was my favorite from the series. This installment covers the human side of the toy/human relationship more, and that's what really pulls on my heartstrings. Many of us are convinced that we should stop playing when we reach a certain age, as if adults have less need for escapism than children, which I find strange. In other words, bring your damn toy with you to college Andy! I have seen weirder things in dorm rooms.

Anyway, I think Pixar has made much better movies, but these were solid films. Oh, and in case you didn't make the connection, toys => Christmas=> December theme!

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Billy Crystal turned down the offer to voice Buzz Lightyear.  He later said it was the biggest mistake of his career.

Joss Whedon created the character of Rex.


Saturday, November 30, 2019

1079. A Star is Born

A Star is Born
Directed by Bradley Cooper
2018








I decided to get another film under the buzzer for musical month, which was a rather shorter affair then I intended (I can hear your sigh of relief from here, thanks). Anyway, our previous movie needed CGI elephants and lions to wow us during its musical numbers. All this movie has is Lady Gaga, and, unsurprisingly, it is much, much better.

Jack Maine is a famous singer who is privately, and then not so privately, suffering from addiction. He catches a performance by waitress/singer/songwriter Ally, and falls for her hard. As her star rises, Jack self-destructs.

This is the second Star is Born on the List and it's actually justifiable to include both, given the magnitude of the talents contained in each of the inclusions. That being said, watching Bradley Cooper pretend to stagger around wasted isn't quite the profound experience that Cooper might think it is. Well, let that beautiful bastard think what he pleases. Watching Lady Gaga perform "Always Remember Us This Way" was worth having to endure the tired storyline.

Without Gaga's talent to support this movie, its Oscar bait-iness would be completely unbearable. As is, Gaga saves the day.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper sang their songs live.

Beyonce was originally going to play Ally. If we had to endure Bradley telling an unconvinced Beyonce she was beautiful, I would have needed to delete this blog.


1078. The Greatest Showman

The Greatest Showman
Directed by Michael Gracey
2017








The moment you have all been waiting for, where I announce the theme for November! It's musical month! Unfortunately, I haven't been able to write much. I had to get another surgery, and while that sometimes means binging on so many movies that my readers start to get concerned, this time I couldn't bring myself to watch The Greatest Showman, which was the next film lined up. I mean, it's difficult enough battling nausea after surgery without having to watch Hugh Jackman tap dance. But I managed to get this watched under the buzzer. Stay tuned for one more musical post before December hits.

P.T. Barnum dreams big, along with his childhood sweetheart, played by Michelle Williams. Does Michelle Williams ever have a role other than Long-Suffering Wife? In any case, P.T. starts to collect and celebrate misfits. He also recruits a playwright Phillip Carlyle (Zac Efron) who falls for one of the trapeze artists.

I can forgive a musical anything, even glitter washing history, if the songs are good. These songs are just okay, with a couple in the pretty good category. "Rewrite the Stars" and "A Million Dreams" at least had interesting choreography; I had my eyes peeled for any flashes of originality, since this was pretty derivative. I couldn't help but compare "The Other Side," a duet by Barnum and Carlyle where Barnum convinces Carlyle to join him, with "Well, Did You Evah?" from High Society. Try as they might (and they tried so hard Jackman was practically panting in every scene) they just couldn't imbue the number with the same magic that Crosby and Sinatra had.

It's much more interesting when biopics dive into the grittier aspects of their subjects, but the filmmakers were determined to behave as though Barnum was Lady Gaga, instead of a seedy slave owner who tortured animals. I guess that's fine; I don't need realism in my musicals. But I was pretty over its cloying message right from the beginning; This is Me sounds like a Katy Perry song.

I've babbled enough. Should be watched in conjunction with the other List movie, Freaks.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Jenny Lind was written with Anne Hathaway in mind.

In reality only Tom Thumb and P.T. Barnum met Queen Victoria.

Thursday, October 31, 2019

1077. Wake in Fright

Wake in Fright
1971
Directed by Ted Kotcheff








Happy Halloween! I actually had fun sticking to a theme this month, so I think I will keep that trend going from now on. I won't spoil what I have planned for November, but rest assured, most of you will hate it. Now onto the last horror movie of October: the Australian version of Deliverance.

John Grant is a young schoolteacher who is unhappy to be stuck in the Outback for his teaching assignment. He plans to go to Sydney to see his girlfriend over the Christmas holidays. He plans to travel through a nearby mining town to get the airport, but ends up getting waylaid by the town's eccentric denizens.

This film is notorious for its footage of a very real kangaroo hunt, which is absolutely disgusting to witness even if kangaroos are basically velociraptors. In fact, it ruined the whole movie for me. What can I say, watching a real animal bleed and writhe in agony doesn't do it for me anymore (I'm a vegetarian so don't step to me).

Aside from that, I didn't find any of the characters to be too compelling. They were odd without having much charm, and too dull to be engagingly repulsive. The List is worse than I am at picking out good horror movies, and I sat through 1408.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

This movie was out of circulation for decades because the negative went missing. It finally resurfaced in a Pittsburgh warehouse in 2004. Yay, my city is famous for something, besides putting french fries in a sandwich.

There are 107 occurences of somebody taking a drink. And I don't think it's pumpkin juice.

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

1076. Dead Ringers

Dead Ringers
1988
Directed by David Cronenberg









The Listmakers' only criterion for choosing horror movies seems to be, "will this movie disturb the audience for the rest of their lives?" And Dead Ringers is certainly fitting of this category. Good thing I don't have to get my next pap smear for awhile.

Jeremy Irons plays twins Elliot and Beverly, who are both gynecologists. The filmmakers kind of want us to think Elliot is the evil twin and Beverly is the sensitive one, but they are both rapists, so there really isn't as much of a moral gray area as the filmmakers desire. They share everything, including an actress on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

This movie taps into a latent fear in women that their gynecologists are secretly creepy perverts. I wish that he hadn't dived into the body horror as much as he had. But I suppose asking David Cronenberg to not do something gross with a body part is asking too much of the poor lad. I was much more interested in the psychology of the twins than watching them experiment with "radical" methods. I also wish the drug storyline wasn't included, as I find it more interesting observing sober people's actions. To me, then the explanations for their behavior are more intriguing than "drugs made them do it."

So another upsetting watch for our October creep-out. Ain't Halloween fun?

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Robert De Niro turned down the main roles because he didn't want to play a gynecologist. Is that really the upsetting part of this film?

Based on real life twins Stewart and Cyril Marcus.

Monday, October 14, 2019

1075. Hereditary

Hereditary
2018
Directed by Ari Aster












Yay! An actual horror film to have on the blog in October. I knew nobody was buying it when I tried to sell The Lady Vanishes as a horror flick last week. This is actually an entry from the latest edition. I am afraid that I have grave tidings to share about this edition: it contains The Greatest Showman. That's right; Zac Efron has finally danced his way onto the List. A moment of silence, please.

This is a hard film to summarize, especially when you strive for a spoiler free existence. Toni Collette is a miniaturist who recently lost her mother, whom she had a complicated relationship with. She has a supportive husband in Gabriel Byrne, and tries to help her children, or at least, her daughter, navigate the grief. But it's a horror movie and there's a dollhouse, so you know shit is going to get serious.

When people say a film is a "slow burn," that is usually code for "nothing interesting happens for the first half of this movie." But Hereditary is a slow burn in the best sense of the phrase; I've rarely seen dread built so effectively. Toni Collette is now going to be a permanent fixture in my nightmares.

Some of the images in this movie will stay with me forever, so I wouldn't exactly recommend this, but anybody who loves horror should love this movie.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Ari Aster's feature film debut.

Ari Aster requested that Alex Wolff and Milly Shapiro go out to dinner to try to make their relationship as brother and sister seem more organic. Apparently they sat in silence for three hours as Alex tried to get Milly to speak. That sounds about right.


Friday, October 4, 2019

1074. The Lady Vanishes

The Lady Vanishes
1938
Directed by Alfred Hitchcock










Happy October fellow movie buffs. I love to read horror fiction and watch horror movies at this time of the year. Right now I am reading The Master and Margarita (okay, I know not strictly a horror novel but it at least has the devil). I also realize that The Lady Vanishes hardly falls under that category either, but hey, we are just warming up here.

Also want to give a special birthday shout out to Ray, our British expert on all things movie related. Maybe this will be the year he outgrows Bergman!

Anyway, back to The Lady Vanishes. Iris Henderson is returning to England to marry her boring fiance.  She becomes temporarily stranded at an inn in Bandrika (a fictional country; don't embarrass yourself with a google search) after an avalanche blocks the rail line. She has a meet cute with a musician. I won't go into details but suffice to say she is outraged by his caddish behavior. The next morning Iris gets hit on the head, and befriends Miss Froy, who appears to be the quintessential British mother hen. They board a train and when Iris awakes after taking a short nap, Miss Froy is missing. Iris is sure that Miss Froy is real, but everybody else on the train denies her existence. Everybody except a certain mustachioed cad.

Apparently the Listmakers decided that having only eighteen Hitchcock movies was an affront of the highest order, so they added this one in too. I don't deny that Hitchcock is a versatile director, but I feel like his range has been fairly well highlighted already. This one doesn't contain any themes that haven't been well-covered already in arguably better movies of his, like 39 Steps or Spellbound.

That being said, of course I love Hitchcock, so this is a great movie. The pacing is excellent, the plot is full of exciting twists, and the chemistry between the two leads is palpable. Would recommend next time you are in the mood for that perfect old movie.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

The set for this movie was only 90 feet long.

HITCHCOCK RADAR: Near the end of the movie, at Victoria Station

Saturday, September 21, 2019

1073. Gangs of New York

Gangs of New York
2002
Directed by Martin Scorsese












I thought we could use an antidote to the sickening sweetness of last week's musical. Of course, the grass isn't always greener on the other side, even if Leo is standing on it.

In the slum neighborhood of Five Points, Manhattan, two gangs fight over turf, unfortunately without any snapping or pirouettes. Priest Vallon, the leader of the Dead Rabbits gang is killed by Bill the Butcher Cutting. Vallon's young son swears revenge and returns to Five Points sixteen years later. You can probably guess what happens.

Daniel Day Lewis' performance has been praised, and even I'll admit he is brilliant in this, though I generally find him insufferable. But poor, poor Cameron Diaz. Bless her heart, she tried. Even Leo forgot that he was supposed to be doing an accent sometimes. At least they both looked hot panting.

Anyway, the plot is just okay, the sets are incredible and has a star studded cast. So by Hollywood standards, a wonderful movie. But by 1001 movie standards? They probably could have done without the Butcher's leavings.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Leonardo DiCaprio accidentally broke Daniel Day Lewis's nose during filming, and of course, Daniel kept going with the scene. Ahem, "accidentally."

Sarah Michelle Gellar was originally cast as Jenny, but had to back out due to scheduling conflicts with Buffy. Joss Whedon is once again responsible for my heartbreak.


Saturday, September 14, 2019

1072. Oklahoma!

Oklahoma!
1955
Directed by Fred Zinnemann








I am not the biggest fan of musicals, although I will fight anybody who says Hamilton isn't the best thing to happen to America. By "fight" I mean pen a hurtful haiku about that person. I do like old Hollywood musicals, but why is there always that one number that just goes on wayyy too long? You know which one I mean.

Curly McLain is in love with Laurey Williams. She loves him too; she even bakes him his favorite pie! But Curly had the gull to wait until the morning of the party to ask her to be his date. What nerve! So she decides to go to the dance with the psycho farmhand instead. You know, to make Curly jealous.

So this is obviously an aggressively wholesome movie. It's not just Oklahoma...it's Oklahoma! But it can be fun if you let it be. Some of the songs actually weren't too bad. "The Surrey With The Fringe On Top" is catchy, although I might just like that because I have positive When Harry Met Sally associations. "Many A New Day" has a refreshing message; most women in musicals come to the conclusion that they are nothing without their closeted male counterparts.

I think this should have replaced Seven Brides for Seven Brothers in my edition. This is much less creepy. Well, it's a little less creepy.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Set in 1907, before Oklahoma territory was admitted to the Union.

Cost $6.8 million to make.

Inspiration, for next time that certain fellow snubs you:


Monday, September 2, 2019

1071. The Eagle

The Eagle
1925
Directed by Clarence Brown












Even though the new editions of the List tend to favor newer movies, they did sprinkle in some entries among the older ranks. I guess they felt they didn't pay enough homage to Rudolph Valentino the first go around, so now we all have to sit through this one and properly acknowledge his hotness.

My embarrassing literary secret is that I've never read any Pushkin, but I believe this is based on a Pushkin novel. Valentino plays a Russian lieutenant who catches the fancy of the Czarina, but she's old, so gross. He rejects his advances and flees, so she puts out a warrant for his capture, dead or alive. Then he becomes Robin Hood.

It was jarring watching this, as I haven't watched a silent film since I was a young lass and started this blog. I know that back when I was languishing in the mire of Griffith movies, this would have been a welcome reprieve. But now it was rather a chore to sit through, because well...they hadn't starting making good movies yet. You know, with good stories and non awkward movie kisses.

Still, Valentino is a magnetic force. So he deserved a place on this List.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

In order to project a more masculine image in this film, Valentino insisted on doing the opening stunt himself.

Monday, July 15, 2019

1070. Citizenfour

Citizenfour
2014
Directed by Laura Poitras











Am I the only one who is very attracted to Edward Snowden? No? Okay, let's get back to the dystopian nightmare that is the modern world!

This is a documentary on the Edward Snowden leaks which basically revealed that 1984 is real and maybe we should have all been nicer to that George guy when we had the chance. Most of the film takes place in Snowden's hotel room.

It's crazy watching history unfold on screen. It's amazing that we got to hear from Snowden firsthand as he explained his reasonings and fears. How many other historical traitors had that privilege? It makes me wonder if I would have been as attracted to Benedict Arnold. Based on his Google images, I am going to go ahead and say yes.

A chilling but important watch.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Poitras edited the film in Germany to avoid having the FBI seize her hard drives.

1.2 million people are on the watch lists of the US intelligence agencies.

Friday, June 21, 2019

1069. Manchester by the Sea

Manchester by the Sea
2016
Directed by Kenneth Lonergan









I was not looking forward to watching this movie. Given the all white cast list and the New England setting, I was worried we were approaching Nicholas Sparks territory here. But I have to say, I was moved by this film and my snobbery, as usual, was completely uncalled for.

Lee is a taciturn janitor in Quincy, Massachusetts, who spends his days getting in bitch fights with his clients and nights getting in bar fights. After his brother passes, he is startled to discover that he has been named his teenage nephew's guardian. Given his past, he is convinced that this is not a suitable role for him. And given his past, it is difficult to disagree.

I am not going to lie to you, there are some tough scenes to get through here. And I am talking, of course, about having to endure Patrick's band practice. But if you can suffer through that, the rest of the movie is a beautiful meditation on grief, with surprisingly endearing characters (even though Patrick is an affront to womankind).  I like films that capture the awkwardness of grief, the moments where ordinary people don't know the right words to say, but try their best anyway.

I suppose an argument could be made that it is not quite good enough to be on this List, but they included Blade Runner 2049 so why not.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Idea for the film was originally pitched by Matt Damon and John Krasinski.

The filmmakers portrayed Manchester-by-the-Sea as blue collar when in reality, it's a very affluent town.

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

1068. Lady Macbeth

Lady Macbeth
2016
Directed by William Oldroyd












I rarely venture to the theater anymore except in case of emergencies, like if Jordan Peele has a new horror movie or Donald Glover will be featured shirtless. I did see The Beguiled fairly recently, a film that is very similar to this one in terms of themes and style. But Lady Macbeth is vastly superior, so why was I wasted my time with The Beguiled? Oh right, Nicole Kidman.

Trapped in a loveless marriage with a man twice her age, Katherine spends every morning being laced into a torture device (otherwise known as the corset) and every night being used for her husband's pleasure. Suffice to say, she doesn't have much of a chance of producing a heir. This angers her boorish father in law Boris. The only company Katherine has is Anna, her housemaid. Katherine becomes attracted to Sebastian, one of the men working for her husband, things escalate, and let's just say she earns the comparison to Lady Macbeth.

Period dramas often have some pacing issues. I think the director becomes so enamoured with the beauty of the costumes and sets that they forget they have to move the story along. Lady Macbeth is guilty of this, but overall, the actors are able to imbue even the quiet moments with great meaning.

It's always interesting to watch these female revenge tales, which can either horribly gruesome (I Spit On Your Grave) or mistaken for empowerment (Thelma and Louise). Much like the experience of watching Lady Macbeth, acts of revenge are satisfying in the moment, but the results end up making you feel slightly sick.

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

Based on a novel by Nikolai Leskov.

Only three musical passages in the movie's score.

Thursday, May 30, 2019

1067. The Handmaiden

The Handmaiden
2016
Directed by Park Chan-wook








Fingersmith has been on my book list for years and after seeing this movie I am definitely moving it up to the top. Perhaps I'll feel like less of a pervert reading the story than I did watching it.

In Japan-occupied Korea, Count Fujiwara plans on seducing Lady Hideko, a Japanese heiress and stealing her inheritance. He hires a pickpocket, Sook-hee, to be Hideko's handmaiden, so she can persuade Hideko to marry Fujiwara. Sexy times and then not so sexy times ensue.

I don't mean to imply that you are a pervert if you enjoy this. I think in some scenes the director was drawing comparisons between the film's audience and all the perverted voyeurs in the story (with Hideko's uncle obviously taking home the Creepie). As far as the lesbian sex scenes go...I'm not sure how much it added to the story to know the particulars of their sex lives. I wanted Hideko to experience a sexual awakening as much as the next man...well, actually, the next straight man might have wanted it a bit more. But I am not sure I had to know the particulars or for the "particulars" to go on as long as they did.

There were beautiful scenes in this film, but of course because it's Park Chan-wook, there were also plenty of scenes where I wanted to cover my eyes. Oddly, it still manages to be a rather sweet movie.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

No male crew member was present during the lesbian sex scenes.

Sarah Waters, who wrote Fingersmith, approved of the script but requested the filmmakers say the movie was merely "inspired by" her novel.

Monday, April 29, 2019

1066. Blade Runner 2049

Blade Runner 2049
2017
Directed by Denis Villeneuve








I am at the mercy of my Amazon Subscriptions, as I am picking out what movies to watch based on what's available for free. This would definitely not have been a top pick for me. Personally, I like my science fiction to come with a little humor, Douglas Adams- or C3P0 -style, otherwise I find it rather dull. Now I fully recognize that this is simply a matter of taste, and I resolved to be as objective as possible with this film. But sweet Jesus, it was 164 minutes.

Ryan Gosling plays K, a replicant tasked with "retiring" older models. He discovers a box on one of his missions that contains the remains of a replicant who died during a c section, thus proving that replicants can reproduce. K is ordered to kill the child to hide the truth. K also has a special sweetheart, a la the movie Her. A movie I haven't seen yet, but imagine is quite superior to this.

I will spare you my unabridged rant on the endless remakes and reboots that Hollywood is hellbent on pursuing, but suffice to say, I saw no real reason for this story. I suppose the effects are better, but just like the original Blade Runner, it was a total snoozefest, with boring, handsome actors looking grim for hours. I would guess the running time is exceptionally long because every character takes a dramatic pause before they speak. I suppose this is a way of giving weight to dialogue that is supposed to be mindblowing but is actually rather mundane.

Just totally unnecessary. Harrison, man. Have a some self respect. You're not a mascot.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Because his character was blind, Jared Leto wore opaque contact lenses. So I guess he is pretty bad at acting then? God, that guy is obnoxious.

A much longer take of the Pale Fire scene was filmed, where Gosling read out loud an eight minute staccato dialogue, but it was cut. Oh thank Zeus.


Sunday, April 7, 2019

1065. Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri

Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri
2017
Directed by Martin McDonagh









I needed some post Strindberg therapy, as the 1001 Books Listmakers have decided it is essential for me to read books about how useless women are. I also made the unfortunate decision to binge on James Bond movies, which have just become available on Netflix. All this to say that I am ready to fuck some shit up (pardon the expression), so this movie is perfect for me.

Mildred Hayes rents three billboards from Red Welby on a rarely used road outside Ebbing, Missouri. It's a cool moment when you see what the billboards say for the first time, so I won't spoil it for you, but suffice to say that she is attempting to call attention to an unsolved crime. She calls out the Chief of Police Bill Willoughby on the billboard, which angers one of his officers, Jason Dixon (ayyy). Dixon is a racist alcoholic mama's boy, but even so, the town's citizens, including Mildred's son and ex husband, mostly agree with him that the signs should be removed.

What a wonderful, odd movie; I suspect it is the illegitimate offspring of Ethan or Joel Cohen. There are a few rural town stereotypes gleefully included, but McDonagh is just as willing to turn those stereotypes on their heads, and he does so with the perfect mixture of humanity and humor.  I was actually most struck with Sam Rockwell's performance when he was acting drunk. It seems like a simple skill for an actor to master, but I feel like a lot of times, they overdo it, or confuse alcohol's effects with those of mushrooms. Other actors (ahem Al Pacino ahem) would not have pulled off such an interesting character with that much subtlety.

Frances McDormand, Woody Harrelson, and my man, Peter Dinklage all deserve shout outs too. I feel like there was nothing heavy handed in the movie. The world is a sucky place at the beginning of the movie, and it's a sucky place at the end, but it still made me feel optimistic. How can that be?

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

The font on the billboards is called Impact.

Frances McDormand originally didn't want the role, because she didn't think someone from her character's socioeconomic background would wait to have kids until she was 38. Her husband told her to shut up and do it.

Sunday, March 17, 2019

1064. Bridge of Spies

Bridge of Spies
2015
Directed by Steven Spielberg









I believe my last experience with Spielberg was War Horse, so I was a little gun shy this time around. Fortunately this time around, Tom Hanks was involved and everything that man touches is transformed into historical rainbows, including Dan Brown novels.

At the height of the Cold War, insurance lawyer James B. Donovan is persuaded to defend Rudolf Abel, a man accused of being a Soviet spy. His position as Abel's attorney earns him a great deal of persecution, and his own wife discourages him from mounting the best defense he can. Of course she does, because it is the women's role in these movies to tell men to stop doing remarkable things and bring home some damn marmalade. Anyway, Donovan comes to realize that the Soviets would be open to a trade and hilarity ensues (if your idea of hilarity is white men looking sullen).

Given the option, I would rather have Tom Hanks be my legal counsel than a board certified attorney (sorry, Dad). Tom Hanks made this movie for me; ordinarily this kind of film wouldn't interest me. I feel like all Cold War movies have the same dreary aesthetic, which certainly fits the time, but doesn't really intrigue me. I've complained in the past that Spielberg can be a little sappy for me, but I think he restrained himself in this movie admirably (and of course Mark Rylance helped with this).

In other Tom Hanks related news, apparently Bollywood is remaking Forrest Gump. Uhhhhhh....

RATING: ****-

Interesting Facts:

In real life Frederic Pryor wasn't trying to rescue a girlfriend in East Berlin, but was just trying to return some library books. Sounds like my kind of fella.

Francis Powers' son was a consultant for the production and had a cameo.


Friday, February 22, 2019

1063. Call Me By Your Name

Call Me By Your Name
Chiamami col tuo nome
2017
Directed by Luca Guadagnino








I haven't really loved any of the movies on this blog lately and my cold, shriveled heart was fearing that it could never happen again. Fortunately, this movie came along and brought me back to life. My euphoria is tempered slightly though, by the realization that Shape of Water won the Best Picture Award over this. Does that mean the Academy would rather see a woman and a fish mate then see two men fall in love? Come on people.

Seventeen-year-old Elio lives with his parents in a villa in northern Italy. He spends most days reading, playing the piano, and hanging out with his parents. In other words, he is a total dreamboat. His father, who is a professor, invites Oliver, an American grad student, to live with his family for the summer and help out with his paperwork. Elio and Oliver are drawn to each other and the sexual tension is off the charts.

It's so nice to see a love story between two people of the same sex that isn't about how dickish society is toward gay people. Of course, that story needs to be told, but falling in love is hard enough on its own, even before you add societal pressure. Elio and Oliver had amazing chemistry and the stunning backdrop of Italy almost made their love story seem mystical. Mr. Perlman might win Greatest Movie Dad of All Time. Can you imagine if him and Toni Collette procreated? That child would be blessed.

A phenomenal film and one I will be revisiting many times in the future.

RATING: *****

Interesting Facts:

Armie Hammer was most uncomfortable filming the dancing scenes.

Guadagnino plans on doing a sequel. I usually dislike sequels but this needs to happen.





Thursday, February 7, 2019

1062. Precious: Base on Nol by Saf (Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire)

Precious: Base on Nol by Saf (Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire)
2009
Directed by Lee Daniels













I have previously expressed in this blog an all consuming disinterest in watching this film, as it seemed like a somewhat manipulative tour of human misery. However, I saw this was available on Amazon Prime, and since me completing this List is an inevitable as the Patriots winning the Superbowl, I decided to take advantage of when I could get this for free. That last comment was an attempt to connect with the heavy male audience I know I have accrued on here.

Precious is a dangerously overweight teenager who is pregnant with her second child. After being kicked out of her school for her pregnancy, she attends an alternative school and bonds with the women she meets there. This movie includes incest, rape, AIDs, developmental disabilities, illiteracy, verbal and physical abuse, and poverty. If they had included starvation I could have completely filled out my misery bingo card, but that is obviously...ahem...not the issue being faced here.

At the time of the release, Oprah was shoving this down all our throats and even she admitted this is not a film to be enjoyed, but to be appreciated. There is no denying that the performances are incredible. I suppose the point is to tell a story about a person who is largely ignored by Americans, that illiteracy is still a huge problem in the United States, and that our welfare and education systems are broken. But after serving up heaping after heaping of tragedies, I think this message gets bit buried, and you're left wondering why you're subjecting yourself to this story in the first place.

Still, I did enjoy Precious' fantasy sequences and like I said, the acting is phenomenal.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Taraji P. Henson wanted to play of the role of Precious, but Lee Daniels turned her down. Oh, honey. Just no.

First Best Picture nominee to be directed by an African American filmmaker.

Over 400 women auditioned for the role of Precious.

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

1061. The Theory of Everything

The Theory of Everything
2014
Directed by James Marsh









I suppose this film is in the Book because of the amazing performance by Eddie Redmayne and out of respect for Stephen Hawking, who passed away recently. Still, a romance film has to be phenomenal for me to be able to stomach it, and this was not.

The film tells the story of Stephen Hawking, as his health and mobility deteriorates while he falls for the future Mrs. Jane Hawking. They fall in love and create a family together, but gradually their relationship begins to be a strain on them both.

Well, the movie completely whitewashes the Hawking romance, which was disappointing for me. I am not asking for Who's Afraid of Stephen Hawking here, but I think it would have been fascinating to explore the more tumultuous (and realistic) parts of their relationship. A good writer could have done this without making either of the characters into villains. After all, I would totally understand Stephen resenting Jane for her role as a caretaker, either out of humiliation, jealousy, or both. And Jane's almost saintlike behavior in this movie made her pretty inaccessible to me (I call it the Melanie Wilkes problem). Based on Jane Hawking's memoir, we all know what really happened (or one version of what actually happened) and it felt cowardly that they didn't portray that.

I don't think great love stories should end in such a fizzle, or at least, onscreen love stories.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Jane Hawking requested that they never show the characters having sex.

Eddie Redmayne only met with Stephen Hawking once before filming began.