1046. Mulholland Drive

Mulholland Drive
2001
Directed by David Lynch

I really hate David Lynch's movies, but through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I have been forced to watch Eraserhead, Elephant Man (okay, that one wasn't so bad), Blue Velvet, that ridiculous Rabbit series, and now this. Professors just love screening Lynch movies, and it my desperate attempt to finally finishing my writing degree, certain sacrifices must be made. Recently, one of my professors showed Mulholland Drive, a movie I have been avoiding for many moons.

Okay, plot summary time. Let's see...Betty is an aspiring actress who might be capable of making Sandra Dee wretch. She moves into her aunt's apartment in Hollywood, but discovers that someone else is already there: a voluptuous brunette who can't remember what her name is. Betty resolves to help her, but it soon becomes clear it's a toss up who needs a trip to hospital more. Justin Theroux flits around in the background, playing an arrogant director who is being pressured by some kind of mafia to cast Camilla Rhodes into his movie. And um...some other weird stuff happens.

Well, you all probably know how I feel about movies like this. I think it is much more difficult and admirable to create an original plot with a cohesive narrative than it is create nonsensical sequences with an absurd amount of loose ends. I also think that when the best explanation for a movie's plot is "it was all a dream," it means that the screenwriter took an easy way out. Now that being said, I think Lynch does delve a bit deeper than that. If we do interpret this as a dream, the presentation was much more Freudian than writers' typical presentation of the subconscious, with its blatant symbolism that is barely open to interpretation. This was much realer, and therefore more confusing.

I should probably also mention the lesbian relationship depicted here. On the one hand, LGBTQ+ representation in Hollywood has always been poor, so maybe he should get some credit for featuring one. On the other hand, did anyone else feel like maybe David Lynch just wanted to watch these hot women simulate sex? Considering the perv level in Hollywood, I wouldn't be surprised.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Was originally conceived as a spinoff of Twin Peaks.

The Cowboy had no eyebrows to make him creepier.

739. Blue Velvet

Blue Velvet
1986
Directed by David Lynch

I read Roger Ebert's review of this film and it so perfectly captures everything I want to say about this movie that I almost want to link it here and just call it a day.  I'll do the mature thing though and just paraphrase everything he says.  Okay, maybe not everything.

Jeffrey Beaumont returns to his hometown.  While taking one of his shortcuts, he stumbles across a severed human ear.  Jeffrey can't resist snooping around even after reporting the ear to the police.  He discovers from the detective's daughter that Dorothy Vallens, a sexy nightclub singer, is connected to the case somehow.  Jeffrey breaks into Dorothy's apartment, gets a blow job for some reason, and witnesses the psychotic Frank Booth raping and doing other disgusting things to Dorothy.  Ugh do I have to go on?

In Roger Ebert's review he asks the audience, "What's worse?  Slapping somebody around, or standing back and finding the whole thing funny?"  Apparently David Lynch found the whole thing rather amusing and I am not just talking about the joke-y small town bits.  According to Rossellini, Lynch couldn't stop laughing during the rape scene.  What the hell?

Obviously this isn't enjoyable to sit through, as you basically have to watch an unstable woman emotionally, sexually, and physically tortured.  I guess you are supposed to get something out of it besides enjoyment.  But the whole small town, dark secrets theme was so overdone that I couldn't wait for it to be over, even during the non traumatizing parts.

RATING: *----

Interesting Facts:

Dennis Hopper says the word "fuck" in almost every sentence.

Dennis Hopper reportedly said "I have to play Frank because I am Frank."  I think that should be enough to warrant an investigation.

664. The Elephant Man

The Elephant Man
1980
Directed by David Lynch

I recently saw the hospital the real Joseph Merrick stayed in London, although I was too freaked out that I was on my own in Whitechapel to properly appreciate the historical significance.  That was a fun fact before a very unfun movie.

This is the story of John Merrick, a severely deformed man who is being exploited at a freak show.  Frederick Treves, a surgeon, tracks him down with the intent to study his condition.  Obviously, they form a deeper connection.

I might be accused of being heartless, but honestly, I felt that this movie was a bit heavy handed with its moralism.  The movie just kept going more and more over the top.  I didn't think the director could outdo the famous "I am not an animal!" scene, but the ending was possibly even more sentimental. It's one of those films where everyone believes they are giving career defining performances that I find exhausting to watch.

Call me a cold bitch, but this is a two star movie.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Joseph Merrick's exact condition is still not known.

Mel Brooks was the producer of this film but left his name out of the credits so the audience wouldn't get the wrong idea.

626. Eraserhead

Eraserhead
1977
Directed by David Lynch

Oh man.  David Lynch's reign of terror has begun.  At least I am delivering one horror film for Halloween.  My sister and I are attending an all night horror movie marathon tonight!  It should be truly awful, as I think at least one Halloween sequel is on the menu.  Fun, fun, fun!

Ugh.  Let's get this out of the way.  Frequent readers of mine could probably predict I would hate this.  Henry Spencer has a baby with his girlfriend, but there is something wrong with the child (think Voldemort in The Goblet of Fire).  I read that David Lynch's daughter has clubfoot, so she believes that the inspiration behind the mutated baby was Lynch's regret about having her.  If that's true...well, I can't even think about that.

So I guess the filmmakers wanted us to feel disturbed and make us wish we hadn't seen some of the images?  Good job, I suppose?

RATING: -----

Interesting Facts:

Stanley Kubrick made the cast of The Shining watch this movie to get the feel of the horror genre.  You hear a lot of stories about how Kubrick is abusive but that has got to the worst.

John Waters' favorite film.  Surprise!