2011
Directed by Steven Spielberg
I knew within two minutes of this film that I wasn't going to like it. Unfortunately for me, that meant another two hours and twenty-four minutes of sickening sentimentalism. This is not Jurassic Park Spielberg, this is ET Spielberg. Call me a romantic, but I much prefer the version that includes someone getting eaten by a dinosaur while on the toilet.
In 1912, a young boy named Albert raises a a young horse. His father Ted is forced to sell the horse to the army, which devastates Albert. Albert enlists in the army as soon as he can. I won't go into detail about what happens next, but if you're anything like me, you'll be saying "yes, get over it, it's a horse" at least fifteen times throughout the film.
I have never really liked horse stories, with The Horse and His Boy coming in dead last in my ranking of the Narnia books. I have only gone horseback riding once, where my coolness was somewhat undercut by the fact that I had to use a child's saddle due to my size (Lil Dudez was the brand name). In any case, if I did have a horse, his name would be Shadowfax or Epona. If you understood either of those references, we can be best friends.
Ahem. Back to the movie. What a total sapfest. I know it's a family film, but even family films shouldn't be as predictable as this movie was. Skip.
RATING: **---
Interesting Facts:
Only three shots in the movie contained any special effects.
Joey was played by 14 different horses.
