1056. Mother!

Mother!
2017
Directed by Darren Aronofsky

I should probably have saved this one for an October watch, since I usually like to stick to a Halloween theme. But this film is barely a horror movie, unless your definition of horror is to be absolutely disgusted. Which I guess is the definition for the weirdos who like movies like Saw....or Mother!

We are going for maximum pretentiousness here, therefore none of the characters have names, so I will refer to them by the actors' names. Jennifer Lawrence is really trying to make her house nice, but Javier Bardem, her temperamental writer husband, keeps allowing strange house guests to invade. Basically, it's a pretty heavy handed allegory for the story of Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, and then suddenly Jesus Christ.

 As an English nerd, I am a huge fan of allegories. I really enjoyed parts of the interpretation, like the emphasis on God's vanity being a catalyst of destruction. But in order for an allegory to be truly enjoyable, the surface story needs to be grabbing in its own right. And frankly, I was very bored following Lawrence around and watching her ask rude people not to touch things. And what was Kristen Wiig doing in this movie?

Like I said, the movie is really disgusting at the end but hey, so is religious fanaticism. Everyone who says this film is a narcissistic, self indulgent mess would be correct. Still, a few nuggets of brilliance can be mined from this. And Javier Bardem is dreamy.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Received both boos and a standing ovation at the Venice Film Festival.

Jennifer Lawrence and Darren Aronofsky started dating during production of this film. For someone who is seemingly determined to avoid cliches, he's guilty of a pretty big one here.

Jennifer Lawrence had her own tent during filming, complete with scented candles and a tv that played Keeping Up With the Kardashians on a loop. We have very different definitions of happy places.

1055. Black Panther

Black Panther
2018
Directed by Ryan Coogler

Lately whenever I tell someone that I don't like superhero movies (with a few notable exceptions of course), they will inevitably say that I should watch Black Panther, because listening to each other is an overrated pleasure. Anyway, when I saw that this was on Netflix Instant and on the List, I finally decided to give it a try.

Basically, the film follows T'Challa, the heir to the kingdom of Wakanda. Wakanda poses as a third world nation, but is actually incredibly sophisticated due to their large stock of vibranium. Vibranium absorbs energy or something. T'Challa is facing a challenger for the throne, who believes that Wakandan weapons should be distributed to oppressed black people around the world.

The cast of this film is absolutely amazing; Lupita Nyong'o is a powerhouse and Martin Freeman might be one of the most likable people on the planet. I think the best supervillains have plots that make the audience half want them to succeed, and that was definitely the case here. I also loved the relationship between T'Challa and his younger sister.

Like I said, though, superhero movies are never going to be my thing; I just can't seem to find car chases interesting. Sorry fanboys.

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

None of the scenes were filmed in Africa.

References the kidnapped girls in Nigeria.

1054. War Horse

War Horse
2011
Directed by Steven Spielberg

I knew within two minutes of this film that I wasn't going to like it. Unfortunately for me, that meant another two hours and twenty-four minutes of sickening sentimentalism. This is not Jurassic Park Spielberg, this is ET Spielberg. Call me a romantic, but I much prefer the version that includes someone getting eaten by a dinosaur while on the toilet.

In 1912, a young boy named Albert raises a a young horse. His father Ted is forced to sell the horse to the army, which devastates Albert. Albert enlists in the army as soon as he can. I won't go into detail about what happens next, but if you're anything like me, you'll be saying "yes, get over it, it's a horse" at least fifteen times throughout the film.

I have never really liked horse stories, with The Horse and His Boy coming in dead last in my ranking of the Narnia books. I have only gone horseback riding once, where my coolness was somewhat undercut by the fact that I had to use a child's saddle due to my size (Lil Dudez was the brand name). In any case, if I did have a horse, his name would be Shadowfax or Epona. If you understood either of those references, we can be best friends.

Ahem. Back to the movie. What a total sapfest. I know it's a family film, but even family films shouldn't be as predictable as this movie was. Skip.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Only three shots in the movie contained any special effects.

Joey was played by 14 different horses.