1191. The Draughtsman's Contract

The Draughtsman's Contract
1982
Directed by Peter Greenaway

Ugh, how many more of these Peter Greenaway are going to creep up on this List? By now I've become quite accustomed to the formula. For the most part, this sticks to the formula, with the added bonus of wigs.

Mr. Neville is an arrogant young artist with all the charms of a Samuel Richardson villain. He is contracted by Virginia Herbert to produce a series of landscape drawings of her country house while her husband is away. Part of the contract involves performing sexual favors for Mr. Neville. Those scenes feel very rape-y, but I guess she agreed to it? Anyway, Mr. Neville rubs some of the inhabitants of the house the wrong way, while others are intrigued by his wiggy ways.

I still don't know what to make of his Greenaway. His characters never seem real to me. Of course, certain parts of the films distracted me from what was going on, since the visuals are so ridiculous. And I really don't know what accent they were going for either.

If you were to insist on watching a Peter Greenaway film, first I would get you a cold glass of water and some time to calm down. Then I would probably recommend The Pillow Book over this. But it beats The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

Greenaway created the drawings seen in the movie.

1183. The Pillow Book

The Pillow Book
1996
Directed by Peter Greenaway

So I wasn't exactly hankering for another Peter Greenaway film after The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover. He put some images in my head that I can't get out and I wasn't eager for him to implant new ones. Well, he isn't quite as disturbing here, but he still left some mental scars.

Nagiko is a Japanese model living in Hong Kong. She has a fetish for being written on, and is hoping to find a lover who is good at sex and calligraphy. Enter Ewan McGregor, who plays Jerome, the lover of a publisher Nagiko hopes will distribute her work. She discovers that Jerome's penmanship isn't half bad. They begin a relationship that ends in a very Greenaway-ish way.

I like the idea of this film, that it is based on an ancient diary written by Sei Shonagon about her time in court. I would much rather watch a more faithful adaptation, but them's the breaks. Visually, the film was stunning, particularly the parts with naked Ewan McGregor. But I never really connect to Greenaway films. All of his characters seem rather aimless, and meet fairly disgusting ends.

Not the worst movie on the List lately, but still skippable. 50 more to go!

RATING: ***--

Interesting Facts:

Much of the movie is in Japanese, and some of the English subtitles are intentionally incorrect.

U2 was slated to be involved with the film's soundtrack, but the idea fell through.

800. The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover

The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover
1989
Directed by Peter Greenaway

800!!  Honestly, I would rather talk about this milestone than this disgusting movie.  Yay, 800!  I can't believe I have written about 800 movies!  Yay...okay, I guess I can't milk that for very long.  Ugh, let's get on with it...

A brutish English gangster, Albert Spica, takes over Le Hollandais restaurant.  He dines there often with his cronies, bringing along his frequently abused wife. I still can't get over the fact that this man played Dumbledore.  I believe his character is the reincarnated spirit of Frank Booth.  Anyway, his wife has an affair with a bookshop owner and surprisingly, things get even grosser.

Ugh, what happens to the bookshop owner...as a reader, that shook me to my core.  Obviously, this was an absolute horror to sit through; I suppose it is up to us to decide if it was worth it. I really don't think so.  I felt like I was watching Blue Velvet again, although at least in this film, the wife does take some sort of stand against the abuse.  Well...kind of.  I think it is possible to have a visceral movie experience without fecal material involved.

Definitely not for people with weak stomachs, although that makes it sound like you're chickening out if you don't want to endure this Rabelaisian nightmare.  How about, definitely not for people with stomachs?

RATING: *----

Interesting Facts:

The tracking shot from the restaurant to the toilet is supposed to be symbolic of the way food travels through the digestive tract.  Ew.

795. Drowning by Numbers

Drowning by Numbers
1988
Directed by Peter Greenaway

My mom used to have this giant picture book called "The Eleventh Hour."  In the story a group of animals prepare to have a feast, but find that someone has eaten all of their food already.  Hidden in each illustrations are clues and puzzles and it is up to the reader to figure out which creature is responsible.  Anyway, that is what this film reminded me of, although I remember the book being way more entertaining.

Three married women, all named Cissie Colpitts, drown their husbands.  Each woman tries to get the coroner to cover up her crime.  But, wait!  There's more!  Throughout the entire film, the numbers 1-100 appear in sequence.  Sometimes there are in the background and other times they are spoken by the characters, which I suppose is interesting in a Highlights magazine sort of way.

I found this film to be extremely dull, so I don't have too much to say about it.  Not much happens, or at least, not nearly enough to justify its running time.  All the characters were obnoxious and hard to grab a hold of.  I felt like the visual tricks were used as a distraction so the audience wouldn't realize the film just wasn't that good.

I think this has been removed in subsequent editions and I can't say I am too choked up about it.

RATING: **---

Interesting Facts:

There are 100 things beginning with S in Smut's room and 100 things beginning with M in Madgett's room.